Reagan's 2nd Birthday

March 5, 2019

Several days before one of my angel babies birthdays or death anniversaries is coming my heart feels heavy, which I'm sure is normal for a bereaved parent.

I believe this flower is called Canterbury Bells White Campanula. So neat looking. I got it for Reagan.

My sister Claudia has always remembered the babies birthdays. She sent me this beautiful bouquet in remembrance of Reagan. My parents called me to tell me they were commemorating Reagan too. It makes me happy that Reagan is acknowledged.

I got a key lime pie (my favorite pie), added two little candles and we sang happy birthday.

Riley still gets emotional. He came along the few obgyn appointments I had and saw and heard Reagan's heartbeat. He was so excited for baby Reagan and was looking forward to having a baby brother to play with and look after.

Sadness, longing, loss, and the what could have been will always remain in me for the rest of my life. I don't feel these emotions on a daily basis though. As much as I love my babies I don't want to wallow in despair. That type of thinking is not healthy, mentally or emotionally. God has blessed me abundantly and continues to do so and I want to make sure to live a life of gratitude no matter the trials that I have endured.
However, I write these posts because it's important I remember Reagan and Lincoln. Doing this is healing. Each day that passes is a day closer to seeing them both. What a wonderful day that will be.

When you lose a child you are haunted with a lifetime of wonder.