Fully In Each Moment

Last week we had a mix of sunny and cloudy days. Sometimes, the weather here reminds me of the weather back home {San Diego}. Sometimes mornings are overcast then by noon the sun is shining bright. The weather in San Diego has changed so much though. It is constantly warm or hot and summers are humid when they didn't used to be that way when I was a kid.

Libby has hung out downstairs and sat on the windowsill on those sunny days. I just had to take a picture of her. Look at her, she's so pretty!
We've added two new nicknames to her to go along with the long list of nicknames she already has. We call her "fur & bones" because she's so thin, all that fur is just a facade ... and the other one is "the nail" because whenever she goes downstairs we can hear her claws as she's walking on the wooden floor.

I'm still crocheting and I am more than half way through. Hopefully I will finish it in a couple of weeks.
Jacob made fish, mash potatoes and vegetables for dinner one day last week. We knew Riley wouldn't even try the fish so we made him a ham sandwich, a small scoop of mash potatoes and two broccoli florets. When he first saw what was on his plate he said, "daddy!! I don't like those things!" He only ate the sandwich. This kid wont even give food a tiny taste.

We went on a walk at a nearby trail. Riley brought along his Easter basket because he said he wanted to pick flowers for me. He's always so thoughtful. Parts of this paved trail has a dirt trail along side of it for people on horses to use. To make it more interesting we walked on the dirt trail part of the way. He sure liked that.

As we began our walk I told Riley that I hoped we see a rabbit. About ten minutes of walking on the dirt trail I chose to walk on the paved trail because I could see a lot of mud on the one we were on. We took a few steps and I happened to look to my right and I spotted a brown bunny. Riley was a few steps behind me and so I waited until he reached me and then pointed to where the bunny was. He got very excited that we did see one. That was definitely the highlight of his walk.
I also spotted several wild raspberries. I can hardly wait for them to be ready for picking. Yum! This was the highlight for me.

I bought different color markers and a drawing pad so I could draw pictures for Riley to color. I'm not a good drawer by any means but I can draw basic things. I drew him a tulip, a large one. One that he could draw a face to and other body parts that he thought it needed.

I drew the eyes for him then he drew a round circle for the nose and a smile. I then asked him, "what else does it need?", and he drew arms. I began to laugh because the arms looked funny and he began to crack up so as he continued to draw more things on his tulip we continued to laugh hysterically. You would have been laughing too. Sydna and Nathan were sitting right across from him and they both were laughing hard as well. He's so entertaining! He keeps us laughing all day long every day.

Now that the days are beginning to get longer and the weather warmer, after dinner Jacob sometimes takes the boys to the park. He plays football with Nathan while Riley plays on the playground and with other kids that happen to be there. This is such a wonderful act that he does because this gives me a chance to rest or to do whatever I want. Definitely thankful and appreciative.

And sometimes, when Jacob is cooking he'll call Sydna to be his sous chef. Sydna is just as silly as her dad. When she realizes what Jacob wants her to do she'll say something dumb like, "What?! I didn't agree to this." It makes me smile whenever she's cooking in the kitchen with Jacob. I even let out a giggle because he has her helping then she'll turn around and give me the stink eye or she'll say, "what? or how come mommy isn't helping." That makes me laugh harder. It's all good fun. I love her!

And can you believe May is almost over? Crazy! The year is about half way through. Oh, and if you look at the left side of the picture you can see that my two poinsettias are still alive, still hanging on.

No matter how far we've gone, it is the practice of 

returning to whatever moment we are living now that 

restores us, because only when fully in each moment 

can we draw strength from the Oneness of things. 

Enjoying Everyday Life

Thinking good thoughts is the way to overcome the habit of thinking bad ones.

If there's one thing anxiety & depression has taught me is to avoid negative thinking and concentrate on the good, even if my days look the same. I give all the credit to God because without Him I know that I wouldn't be as strong as I am today. Aside from being grateful that there's a pill that helps to keep my anxiety under control I think that a big part is the way we think. 

There's been a few nights where I've woken up in the middle of the night and I can feel anxiety trying to creep in. I begin thinking about my health, the what if's and that's when fear tries to take hold of me. Thankfully, I know how to calm myself {and thankful I haven't experienced any depression at all since this first happened back in late November}. I immediately begin to pray and begin to think happy thoughts then I repeat: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, over and over until I'm completely calm. This is what works for me. Thanks to God for prayer!

I no longer think chores are mundane anymore. I've just accepted the fact that it's better to go along with my responsibilities with grace than complain about or avoid them. That's part of life.

Keeping my attention on everyday blessings is good therapy. 

Sometimes, to change up routine I put on upbeat music in the afternoons and Riley and I begin to exercise and sometimes dance. We were doing lower back stretches and Riley was having a hard time keeping up ... that made him laugh. 

When Sydna saw this next picture of Riley she burst out laughing. He was dancing to children's music. He really gets all into it especially when I dance along with him. So you can imagine how silly we both looked ... but that doesn't matter, we have fun when we dance.

Mid morning snack, "scream" cheese. He offers me a bite after he's taken several bites and is covered in slobber. Um, I'm not hungry but thank you though.

He watched The Mask for the first time several days ago and when Jim Carrey's character puts on the mask for the first time Riley didn't know what to think. His face was like: what in the world!

I like it when he agrees to color or do art projects because these are mellow activities, he he.

And coloring is relaxing too. I enjoy coloring ... maybe that's why I'm constantly looking for new coloring books to buy him.

My boy is getting so big.

We had lunch with Jacob again on Wednesday. We love seeing him in the middle of the day even though we know that Riley will cry once we take him back to work. Riley talks non stop. We have to remind him that he shouldn't talk when he's got food in his mouth and boy is he loud too. My son is a very talkative little guy.
Jacob had teriyaki and I had spicy chicken stir fry. I totally love stir fry. Great flavor and healthy because I get to eat lots of veggies. Seeing this picture is making hungry!

I'm still not a fan of seeing his playroom messy but I make it a point not to get upset about it because at least the mess is in his playroom and not all over the living room. When I do finally tidy up in there it also gives me the opportunity to get rid of toys that are no longer age appropriate ... but I have to be sneaky about it because if he notices that I'm separating toys he'll ask me what I'm doing and there's been times when he's put toys back and has told me, "don't give them away ok". So smart!

Here he's whining because I had told him to pick up the blocks and he didn't want to. I told him that if he doesn't like picking up toys that he shouldn't be making messes. Then he says, " but I want to play and you have to help me put them away because I'm little". Geez!!

Riley now definitely doesn't fit in his highchair ... so two days ago we finally retired the highchair. It was bittersweet.

He usually runs away from the vacuum but when I vacuumed the living room yesterday I asked him if he wanted to help me and surprisingly he said yes. We have very thick carpet and even on a high setting it's still somewhat heavy to push back and forth. I knew he wasn't going to be able to push it for long so I then asked him if he needed help. He said yes and also said it was too hard, lol.

I don't drink coffee as much as I used to, not even decaf but when I do Riley makes sure to get the last few sips. He loves coffee.

Enjoying everyday life with my husband and kids has always been priority but more so these past few months. Life is precious and life is always changing and tomorrow is never promised. Simple everyday happenings are blessings too.

Some of Last Week's Bits

You all know how much I love to watch Hallmark Christmas movies right? Well, one of my Christmas presents from Jacob was an Amazon gift card. Hallmark movies are a lot cheaper there than at the store so I got five new {to me} Hallmark movies {the last one arrived the following day. It was A Princess for Christmas.} Now I have a total of ten Hallmark movies. I still need to order more. I also got a 2015 agenda. I love it. It's got pictures of what one would find on a farm; a barn, a cute country house, farm animals, fruit and vegetable garden, pottery, a greenhouse and flowers.

My poinsettia's are still alive. Yay! Oh, and Expendables 3 is pretty awesome! All of my favorite male actors are in this movie ... well, almost. If Bruce Willis and Liam Neeson would have been in this one then it would have been TOTALLY awesome! I wonder why Bruce didn't come out in it. He came out in the first two.

Ok, so we served Riley spaghetti and salad one evening without asking him and he got upset. He didn't eat any of it! So so lame. Well, he doesn't know what he's missing. We're still gonna keep trying.

We had four days of dense fog. Seriously, by the first day of it I'm ready for it to go. I'm all for dreary days but fog makes the entire house extremely dark no matter how many lights I have on.

I made myself huevos rancheros for lunch several days ago {since I'm still not into eating a big breakfast in the morning}. I fry a corn tortilla until crispy then put a fried egg on it and pour ranchero sauce over it. SO good!! and when I happen to have queso fresco on hand it's even yummier!!! ... and beans. You can't have huevos rancheros without refried beans {which I also cook myself}.

Father/son reading/bonding time. I love how Riley brought out dinosaurs that come out in the book Jacob's reading to him.

The times that we've been to Legendary Donuts most of their donuts have sold out. These donuts are so good ... even better than Seattle's best known Top Pot Donuts. I had a few errands to run one morning and decided to stop here to see all that they had. I texted Jacob and asked him what he wanted. He chose the Charlie Brown. This place has cool names for each of their donuts. There's a Jack Sparrow donut which is made with rum, lol. Love it!

Got these. The one with sprinkles is for Riley of course. Nathan's double chocolate old fashioned with chocolate frosting was really good. I got an old fashioned donut. It was too big. Only ate half.

Got Riley several pj's and tops with his Christmas money. As soon as the cashier handed me the bag he asked me if he could carry it. Funny.

We stopped by Auntie Anne's for some mini pretzel dogs. Can you believe that Riley likes these?! I'm still in a bit of disbelief but he sure does. He ate four mini pretzel dogs. I even texted Jacob and told him. That's progress.

I let Riley see King Kong for the first time on Friday. He was totally into it. I had forgotten that dinosaurs came out in the movie so he loved that. I stopped it right after he was put to sleep to be taken back to the U.S. I didn't want him to see King Kong getting shot at and then falling to his death. Riley got a bit sad when the men were throwing the chloroform to put King Kong to sleep. He's a sensitive boy.

I've got a funny story to share.
Several weeks ago Sydna was holding Riley and he brought up his legs and were pressing on Sydna's lower abdomen. Sydna then said, "ouch Riley get down, you're hurting my ovaries". A few minutes later Riley hit his elbow on something and he said, "ouch I hurt my ogry {instead of ovaries}". We all cracked up. We told him that only girls have ovaries but he kept saying it trying to be funny. I seriously hope he stops saying it because what if he says it when we're out somewhere and people hear. That would be weird!

Getting To Do More

I am two weeks behind in my blogging. Not that much has happened as in activities but life is happening and sometimes I just don't feel like blogging during the day and once its night I'm ready to go to bed.

Today was the first day of Winter. Crazy! Gorgeous Fall was definitely bittersweet for me this time. Never expected to ever be going through what I'm going through. But, like every setback, there is a lesson to be learned.

We still go chasing sunshine when it peeks out from behind the clouds. Even if we're in the middle of watching a movie or playing games ... if I see that the sun is shining I tell Riley that we're either going for a walk or going to the park. We bundled up and went to the park. Riley has been having fun playing with his sword and likes to bring it with him wherever we go.

Later that day Riley received a package in the mail. A belated birthday gift from my friend.

Pretty cool puzzle right? We think so.

Nathan had a band Winter concert on December 9th. It was pretty cool.

Jacob massaging Riley, trying to keep him still and quiet during the concert, lol.

It took almost two weeks {13 days} for the medication to get entirely into my system. By this time I was beginning to feel like my normal self again. No more nervous feeling in my stomach or feeling flushed or depressed. I was looking forward to feeling normal and often prayed for it to be possible. So relieved when it finally happened. Thanked God for that and for His healing {helping me to keep a positive mind} He has been doing in me every day since.

Riley had his 4 year well visit. Jacob took a few hours off work to come with us to his appt. We weren't able to see his usual pediatrician because he was booked. I really liked this nurse, she was very nice and took the time to not only talk to Riley but to listen and make eye contact while he was talking to her. He was set to get three vaccines. I wasn't up to seeing him get the shots so I told Jacob that I was going to step out. Jacob said that he didn't cry at all. He took it like a champ!! What a brave son I have.

He was rewarded with three stickers for every shot he got.

Watching some basketball. I love that my kids like to watch sports.

We are so bummed that the show Gracepoint is over.  We loved it, it was such a great show. By like the fifth episode I told Jacob that I had my suspicion that it was the detective sergeant Ellie Miller's husband who either killed Danny or had something to do with it. I suspected him because the show was hardly ever concentrated on him. That was weird to me. They did an excellent job at making everyone a suspect but it would have been too obvious if it would have been the priest or Nick Nolte's character.

We haven't done many crafts lately ... only one so far. A Santa hand print. Riley colored the hat all by himself and glued all the cotton balls too. So proud of him for doing such a great job in not coloring the rest of the hand.

We had not been to the school playground in a while. I had told Jacob that if it was sunny Saturday morning {2 weeks ago} that we should take him there so he could ride his bike. The sun felt good. The grass was super soggy from so much rain though.

After we got home I had Sydna sit out back with Libby. This old girl also needs her vitamin D. I wonder if there's vitamin D for cats? I should look that up.

Anticipating my mom's visit and of course the kids are so ready to be off for Christmas break.

Christmas festivities in the next post.

Warm And Sunny ... All Week Long

Lots of sun this week. I quickly had to mentally prepare myself so I could spend time outdoors with the little guy ... having the sun beat down on me is not something I'm too fond of. Because once my body reaches its internal heat maximum things can go bad really quick for me ... i.e. - bad HEADACHE!

Sydna managed to get a cold. She was craving something warm but she didn't want to drink tea so she asked Nathan if he could make her home made hot chocolate. Jacob taught him how to make it and he made sure to pay attention and memorize the recipe since he is a lover of all things sweet. 

Baseball is still very fresh in his mind. All week he has been playing with his bat and ball and asking brother if he could play with him. So cute! I'll bet my dad is going to be super happy to find out that Riley likes baseball ... given that my dad and brother are huge baseball fans. My dad loves the Dodgers and my brother has forever been a Reds fan. Again, we don't really follow baseball but we will root for the Padres, no matter how sucky they may be.

That's the free baseball cap the stadium gave out to all the moms on Mother's Day.

Tuesday was warm. I believe it got up  to 78 degrees but for some reason it felt warmer ... so I decided to let Riley play in the backyard. I cleaned out his water table and let him play for a while. I took out our canopy and set it up so I could enjoy being outdoors.

The following day we went on a walk. Riley loves to go on walks. Every day he asks me if we're going on a walk and even on days that I don't feel like it, I force myself and out we go. I just have to get back to my walking routine because I also do enjoy walking.

I almost forgot to mention that as soon as I reached my front door and walked inside the house I immediately got a headache. We really didn't walk far but I'm very sensitive to the sun and I was hot. I should have just stayed outside for a bit until I cooled off. The wind was so fresh. But, I didn't and that's when I got a headache. I ended up taking an advil but the headache didn't really go away. A few hours later I remembered that I hadn't drank coffee so I quickly made myself some. By nighttime I was feeling better. I am just extremely thankful that I don't suffer from migraines and I pray I never do because my dad gets them. Although,  I haven't heard him say he's gotten any in a while. 

This week he only napped twice. I'm going to really miss it when he stops napping for good.

They are ever so pretty!!!

Once daddy came home and after dinner he went back outside and played more ball.

Feeling happy and free with only his onesie and shirt on.

And guess what? Jacob just has to do his final this weekend and this class is OVER! Yay!!!

Working on his tracing skills ... but it looked more like Edward Scissorhands' than his own.

Caught a sweet moment. That's what he does. He'll come up to one of us and say, "I love you so much and give you either a big hug or a kiss. Isn't that the sweetest thing?! He also likes to give compliments, like all the time. When I wear one of my skirts or a dress he'll say, "I like your dress. It's so beautiful". Or when Jacob gets home from work he'll say, "Hi daddy! You're so handsome". He is a genuine tenderhearted little boy. They do pay attention. I'm just glad that we're setting a good example. I want my boys to be gentlemen.

And on the warmest night I let Riley take a bath around 9:00 pm. I only had the closet light on ... he liked that.

On Thursdays, Sydna's first class is not until 11:50 am so I made plans to go on a walk at a nearby trail.  This time I made sure  to have coffee along with an advil for extra measure. I did not want to end up with another headache. Also, I've been applying sunblock and that's another thing that I prefer not to put on but I know it's a must. Just like lotion, I can't stand the feeling of putting on sunblock. Even though I love the smell of it I can't stand the way it feels on my skin. Makes me feel dirty. Yuck! That's why as soon as I get home I wash my legs {if it's lotion} or take a shower {if I applied sunblock}. I know, I'm weird.

Riley had fun ... having a trail all to himself. I was surprised to see this trail empty because it is well known. We got lucky I guess.

There are times when I do get fed up with watching animated movies and on this day I was in the mood to watch a funny mellow movie so I put on Nacho Libre. Riley isn't usually interested in watching "mommy movies" {that's what I call non animated movies, lol}. But since there's children in this movie he decided to stick around and watch it for a few minutes. Then those few minutes turned into almost the entire movie. I was surprised that he was rooting for Nacho when he was in the ring. We don't ever watch wrestling that's why I was taken aback and thought it was funny of him to do that. Whenever Nacho got a few good hits or dodged his opponent Riley would say, "yeah, you did it. yeah! yeah!" LOL!!!

Waiting for daddy to get home from work while eating some mini marshmallows. He says they are his favorite!

And sometimes our evenings end pretty much like this. Watching a movie while we conclude our conversations about our day. 

Sydna has been busy in all three of her college classes. Working on reports, big art projects and presentations. She is doing great and I'm proud of her for wanting to get her college classes out of the way early. 

The kids are almost out of school. Just a few more weeks and I'll have all three kids home with me. Hopefully this will be the summer that I venture out to places I typically don't drive myself to. Freeways here are hectic. But I know I can do it. If I drove from Texas to San Diego once, I know I can drive in and around Seattle. 

Oh, and I almost ran over a toad. I was driving on a straight two way street and from a distance I saw something dark in the middle of my lane but as I came closer to it I noticed it was an animal. There would have been no way for me to swerve. But, thank God the toad didn't move as I drove over it. I looked back in my rear view mirror and saw it hop, lol. I'm sure someone ended up killing it. There were many cars behind me and toads don't have the gift of hopping fast like frogs. This toad was huge. I hope it didn't get killed.
I don't know why I'm a magnet for killing small creatures. I once ran over a squirrel on a bike. It didn't die but it was scary as heck because I could have fallen off the bike. {I'm sure my friend will get a kick out of reading this because it happened when we had gone on a bike ride together.}
Then when I lived in TX a squirrel was running across the street and the darn thing decided to turn back and I ended up running over it's back and legs. I saw it dragging its body. I felt so bad. The crunch that it made was awful. I know I've ran over two squirrels.
Then a bird hit my windshield and ended up falling to the ground. Awful.

Jacob has also had his share.
In TX as he was driving to work one morning he saw a coyote cross the street and as he was driving past it the coyote turned back and it ended up crashing into Jacob's front left bumper. It cracked his bumper. That was sad. A bird also hit his windshield once and Jacob said that when he looked in the rearview mirror he saw the bird explode. Eww!
And lastly, on one of our drives to Mt. Lemmon {in Tucson} we ran over a snake. It's a windy road to reach Mt. Lemmon plus it was nighttime. We were leaving Mt. Lemmon when we noticed a long snake crossing the road. Now, there's no way we could have stopped. It was just not safe to do so we drove over it. Since it was night we couldn't tell if the snake died but it felt gross. It was a big pump/lump, whatever. It was a huge snake.
Aagh! Just gross. I just hope we don't come across any more suicidal animals. But one thing I wont do if I come across an animal on the road and there's no way for me to stop or safely avoid it, I will not swerve and risk getting into a car wreck. Not possible and not worth our lives.