Happy and Meaningful September Happenings

Well ... amidst our sorrow there were glimpses of joy here and there in September.
I obviously seriously love cats. I love their personalities and they are so much fun and such funny creatures. They are definitely more interesting than dogs when they're in their playful manner. Dogs may do cute things but cats are funny ... sure make me laugh.

Sophie is a feisty two year old. She's young which means she has a lot of energy and because she's a heavy girl one can definitely hear her when she goes on those sprinting runs she so often does.
Sydna was on her phone when out of nowhere she sensed Sophie spying at her. Sydna glanced and Sophie was wiggling her butt as if she was gonna pounce at Sydna. Funny how Sophie knows how to behave a particular way with each one of us. She'll playfully attack Sydna. With Nathan, Sophie is very loveable and just lays near him on the floor or on his bed. With Jacob, she'll seek attention {just like Libby used to do} and give him nose kisses. And with me, she'll be my shadow. She'll lay next to me or on me and is very vocal. She loves giving nose kisses ... but only once daily though. She's so particular, lol!

Having a cat especially during this difficult year has been a comfort. She'll help keep my mind occupied and I do love her unconditional love and attention she gives me. I love that she keeps me company.

Sometimes, when the evening is still young we take Riley to McDonald's so he can play in the play area especially now since it's getting dark earlier and also because of the rain. Once we're ready to leave his head is drenched in sweat, ew. I think we'll be doing quite a bit of this as Autumn becomes colder and into the Winter season.

While I was going through my miscarriage Jacob took time off work and while at home he would sometimes take the boys out so I could have my alone time. This was necessary for my mind's well being and I was surely grateful.
On this particular day Jacob took the boys to the zoo. Riley fell asleep on the way there.

Jacob sent me several pictures of their outing and was happy to see that Riley was having a good time feeding some parakeets. I sure didn't want him to become depressed watching his momma so sad and crying on and off. It was definitely hard to put on a brave face at the very beginning. I keep hearing how brave I am but I don't feel brave and my faith has definitely been shaken and I still find myself in a fragile state more often than not.

Here are a couple of "First Day of School" mentions.

Nathan is now a Sophomore, my goodness!! My middle child, so handsome, the most easy going, unflappable of the three. He's really a great kid. He is doing awesome in his studies {all A's but one B}. He's really quite smart. And he's sweet. I mean, he does get on my nerves sometimes especially when he's roughhousing with Riley but that's what brothers do right, no matter the age difference. I just threaten to take away his electronics and he stops messing with Riley. Easy. I just pray that as the years come and go that he'll still stay sweet and easy going and keeps up with his studies.

We love you Nathan!!!

AND our very active and eager five year old started

KINDERGARTEN!!!

ohmygosh! He was so excited. He could barely contain his enthusiasm the days before school started. Every single day he would tell us that he was going to start kindergarten and he would say, "I'm SO excited!". What a funny and sweet little guy.

Although by this time I had already had baby at home I still fought through the emotional pain and made it a point to be happy for Riley, even if it was only for a few minutes. He deserved my happiness for him too.
Here we are just before class began. It was bittersweet because we both know that we were both ready for him to start kindergarten and I was so excited for him to become a tad bit more independent. He was so ready but I was also a little sad that he wasn't going to be home with me the entire day anymore. Oh well, that's how life goes I suppose.

Here he is right after school. Just look at his cute little smile. Sure missed him.

What a cutie pie!

A Birthday!

Nathan turned 16 years old on September 12th. I can't believe how grown my kids are getting. Per his request we had dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. We're all big fans of that place.

And once we got home we celebrated with a small cake and ice cream.

And our thoughts are always with our youngest, baby Reagan. We buried him on Nathan's birthday. No, we didn't planned it this way it just happened. It seemed that with baby Reagan, God made sure that the most significant dates happened on our families important dates. One thing is certain, our lives are never going to be the same. We will always grieve our precious baby boy. We will forever carry a sadness in our hearts that I don't wish upon anyone. Things like these shouldn't happen. Our children are suppose to bury us not the other way around.

Reagan,
I will always wonder who you would have been.

We love you sweet pea!

Keeping My Focus Where It Needs To Be

Rearing children ... and well, just life itself is like the tide. Sometimes life is easy and fun then comes the daily consistent discipline, challenging times and health concerns and the serious stuff. It goes back and forth, back and forth. I know I can't do life alone even with Jacob by my side. We are meant to be in a relationship with God at all times.

I pretty much have an easy enjoyable life. I acknowledge that I am extremely blessed and I daily thank God for the life that He's allowed me to live ... even when I'm having my bad days I still recognize that what is troubling me isn't really ALL that bad. I think sometimes we make our problems seem bigger than what they truly are. Sometimes I can't help it. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing this mothering battle and this is when I know I need to submerge myself in His word ... and Jacob's advice also has a great calming effect on me. But it's only when I pray, "God, You know my heart. You know what I can take and what I can't. I release this burden to You and may Your will be done ... I just ask for strength and wisdom to know how to best handle this current problem. In Jesus name I pray, Amen." It's not until I pray this that I begin to feel at peace. My daily routine becomes easier to maneuver without the problem bombarding my every thought.

In a way I wish I could say that I turn to friends for advice but I cannot. None of my closest friends have kids the same ages as mine. I do have family that have children the same age as mine but their parenting style is way different than mine. Sadly, no one I know has the same conservative moral values that we have ... but that's ok. Do not feel bad for me because I draw my strength from God and from my husband and that's really all I need.

By my words you would think that I'm going through a tough time. That's not the case. Things are going good it's just that I was reading several entries on my agenda which has caused me to reflect on a few challenging times I went through several weeks back. I am truly grateful God has been with me every step of the way and that is extremely comforting to me.

Regarding my depression and anxiety, I believe my depression is completely gone. This deserves praise to God! and my anxiety as well, although there's a few instances when I get a little anxious, like when I watch a UFC fight, I begin to feel slight palpitations so I have to stop watching them or when we drive inside those parking garages like at the airport. I think that because it feels like my car is going to hit the cement ceiling it makes me feel anxious, so weird, so I close my eyes until we've parked. Jacob is the one to always drive inside those parking garages at the airport. But these instances are really it. So for the most part my anxiety is gone, the severe anxiety. I have only but God to thank and praise.

I've also come to understand that whenever God wants to change us He makes sure to get our attention and He's ever persistent. And for me, He got my attention by making me go through a bout of depression and anxiety. I realized that I needed to heed His advice and to completely change my lifestyle by putting Him first. I did and my life has been A LOT more meaningful. My marriage became stronger. Jacob and I see life differently and we are enjoying our life together in a much brighter way.
So whenever I begin to live in the flesh I make myself stop and get back to putting God first. It happens to the best of us. That's why prayer and meditation is so important. It is a vital part to having a flourishing relationship with God.

The good thing though is that I AM growing as I go through life's challenging times. I hope I always have a teachable spirit. I hope that I always remember to remain humble. I hope that as I go through life that bitterness never makes its way into my heart.

great verse during challenging times ... 

For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold

of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.

-Isaiah 41:13

NIV

Well now, on a lighter note. Sydna passed her driving test. She passed it on her second try. Ohmygosh! I almost can't believe how grown up she is. How fast time has passed.

She's already picked Nathan up from school when we weren't able to. She's only allowed to drive Jacob's Camry. I wont let her drive my Tahoe. I told her that the only way she'll drive my car is if I am not able to drive it myself. Maybe when she's 25 I'll let her, lol.
Boy, why do teenagers have to dawdle. She's had her permit for several weeks now but she's been so indecisive about when to go get her drivers license. She could have had her license already. Geez!

Halloween Mantle & Crafts

About a month ago Sydna got a cold. We thought we had been spared because Sydna was almost over her cold but then Riley got a runny nose then a couple of days later I got sick then a couple of days after that Jacob got sick. We seem to have gotten over our colds quite fast but I got it the worst. My nose was like a faucet so I had to pick up some medicine to help with the runny nose and the sneezing. My head felt like it was in a fog. Hate that feeling. Makes me feel like a zombie.
Thankfully we're all better now and hope to stay healthy for as long as we can.

I was still waking up in the middle of the night most of last week. Still not really sure what's causing this ... and even Jacob too wakes up in the middle of the night for no reason at all. It's very irritating for sure.


We got Riley's halloween costume several weeks ago but I had forgotten to get him the bag to put his candies in so we made a trip to Target. I was so disappointed that Target only had a small selection of halloween decorations. They still had a decent amount of costumes but still. I hate it when stores barely have anything for the coming holiday when we're still several weeks out. I opted for a cute small cauldron instead of a bag. I just thought it was much cuter even though it has nothing to do with his costume, I just liked it better.

He still watches Max & Ruby and we just recently watched a halloween episode where Max dresses up as a vampire and has vampire teeth on. Riley thought that was cool and asked me to get him some. Luckily, when we were at Target I happen to spot some that even glow in the dark. He was so excited but since they fit a little big it's hard for him to swallow his spit so when he takes them off a bunch of spit drips off of them. Grody!
I texted Jacob this picture and he said he laughed out loud at his desk.

Also, while at Target I picked up a black & orange owl to add to my mantle theme. I got happy when I did spot something that I liked since their halloween decorations were so limited. So when I got home I set to work on my mantle. I do try to have something different on it each year but still keeping it simple. I knew that the main focus would be to decorate my mantle with pumpkins.
I used a banner I've had for several years. Last year I crocheted the black spiders web with the intention of using it for the coming year. I love how it looks. I placed all the small pumpkins I got at the pumpkin patch, added a black glittered cat and tree decoration, two small ghosts and the owl.

Tada!!

I like how it turned out.

We've also been busy working on halloween crafts. The first craft we worked on was a candy corn decoration using tissue paper. I taught Riley how to hold the tissue paper on the pencils eraser, add glue to it, place it on the black paper and hold it firmly for five seconds. He did pretty good at first and even thought it was funny to count to five.

But then he got tired or it became a bit too tedious for him because he then began to crumble the tissue paper instead. I told him he could do whatever he'd like. All I wanted is for him to stay engaged and have fun.

This was the end result. His and mine. It took me forever {without interruptions it probably took me about an hour} to finish mine because I wanted my tissue paper to be tight fitting. I didn't want mine to show any black between the tissue paper.

Working on this craft brought back memories of when I was in elementary. I remember doing this craft with tissue paper. We made a United States flag though not a halloween craft. I loved that craft then and now.

I'm placing all of our halloween crafts on the side wall so we can admire our work. So fun and I love that I also get distracted between chores. It definitely made the day go by way faster.

The bats on the wall I made several years ago. They look pretty cool on the wall too.

We're still working on more crafts now and we still have yet to do more halloween activities before halloween. October is definitely a busy month for us and it is something we ALL look forward to. We plan certain activities, meals, movie watching and desserts. I love love love it so much!

Updates

Well, the kids are on their last week of school. Chauffeuring the kids to and from school this year has been the most challenging year for me to date. Even Riley paid attention to our comings and goings. When it would be time to pick up sister from college and take her to the high school he would say, "this is annoying!"

I'm hoping that Sydna's next school year schedule will allow me to enroll Riley into a toddler class. And, maybe Nathan will take the school bus {but not really holding my breath on that one}.
I'm still reading The Resolution for Women and Jesus Calling. I've only been able to read but a few pages of each book a day or else I would have been done with both by now. These two books have really re-directed my focus on His word lately. I like both of them a lot and I know that even after I'm done reading them I'll come back to these two books and scan them all over again. Oh, but I have a long list of books that I still need and want to read. I am finding reading these motivational/self help books very exciting. Good for the soul and if one is willing and open to change then ones life gets better and better each passing day.

Both Jacob and I have immersed ourselves in reading these types of books and we are seeing the blessings bestowed upon us as individuals, in our marriage and in our lives. I've found that when you put God in the center of your life you tend to notice the little things in your marriage and in your husband that you would otherwise miss. Of course I've always known this but it wasn't until I really decided to open my heart and mind to His word that I finally began to see things with Christlike eyes. I just pray that we continue to grow closer to Him and each other and to not lose track of His word when life becomes hectic or challenging.

Jacob is very busy at work and next month they will be moving into their new building which is much larger than where they are now. The big bosses anticipate this office to have major growth in the next couple of years. That's awesome! ... and this also means that there will be more opportunity for promotions {will be sharing exciting news on this in the near future!}.

The weather is still awesome here. For the past couple of months we've really enjoyed the weather {I like it most of the time}. It changes every few days. It's sunny for a few days then we get some cloudy days and rain in the mix then its back to being sunny. That's pretty awesome.

One thing I've missed hearing is the honking of geese. I remember last year how often I would hear them but this time I really haven't. Maybe because there's still not many geese back from their winter travels. We've seen several geese here and there though. I'm hoping I get to hear their dorky honking soon.

Sydna had her last orchestra concert of the year and it was also her last orchestra concert of her high school career. Yes, as much as we would love for her to continue to play the violin she says that she wants to move on and get the rest of her required classes out of the way. She's so good though. She's a quick learner and she's learned part of a song just by ear and that's hard to do. She's a graceful player ... moves the bow with such ease. I'm gonna miss not seeing her play at concerts.  She did agree to continue to play these last two years in high school upon my request but I will not force her to do something she doesn't have the passion to do. Maybe, she'll resume at some point in her life. Maybe at this time she just needs a break from it. No one can know.

Picture taken by Jacob

I miss my parents and loved ones. Cannot wait to see them ... God willing. 

Where's The Follow Button?!

Well, as I had mentioned on last nights email to you all, about having the follow button ... well, the old one is no longer available. I would need to use the Google+ follow button and right now I'm not sure if I want to use it.
So, for now I have the Follow by Email widget. Hope you will or you can add my blog address to your blogroll that appears on your dashboard (for those of you that use blogger).

For those of you that get an email when I update my blog you will continue to get them. I've added your email address to continue to receive new posts.

Other than that I am excited about starting anew. A new name for my family blog. I love the title too ... What I've Been Given. Embrace the life He's given me and live it!!

Happy Wednesday!

Two Updates

12.30.12

Guess who is finally off the bottle? Yes, the little guy! It took me a while to finally decide to get him off of it. I'm not a fan of sippy cups but this was the only way given that he still wants milk around 5:00am and this type of cup is the only one that wont cause spills.
He didn't like it at first. He actually hardly drank milk for the first two days but once he realized that he had no other choice he was back to drinking three cups of milk a day. Now I have to remember to pack the bottles away.

Also, a few weeks ago I purchased my own domain name. I don't know why I hadn't done this earlier.