Keeping My Focus Where It Needs To Be

Rearing children ... and well, just life itself is like the tide. Sometimes life is easy and fun then comes the daily consistent discipline, challenging times and health concerns and the serious stuff. It goes back and forth, back and forth. I know I can't do life alone even with Jacob by my side. We are meant to be in a relationship with God at all times.

I pretty much have an easy enjoyable life. I acknowledge that I am extremely blessed and I daily thank God for the life that He's allowed me to live ... even when I'm having my bad days I still recognize that what is troubling me isn't really ALL that bad. I think sometimes we make our problems seem bigger than what they truly are. Sometimes I can't help it. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing this mothering battle and this is when I know I need to submerge myself in His word ... and Jacob's advice also has a great calming effect on me. But it's only when I pray, "God, You know my heart. You know what I can take and what I can't. I release this burden to You and may Your will be done ... I just ask for strength and wisdom to know how to best handle this current problem. In Jesus name I pray, Amen." It's not until I pray this that I begin to feel at peace. My daily routine becomes easier to maneuver without the problem bombarding my every thought.

In a way I wish I could say that I turn to friends for advice but I cannot. None of my closest friends have kids the same ages as mine. I do have family that have children the same age as mine but their parenting style is way different than mine. Sadly, no one I know has the same conservative moral values that we have ... but that's ok. Do not feel bad for me because I draw my strength from God and from my husband and that's really all I need.

By my words you would think that I'm going through a tough time. That's not the case. Things are going good it's just that I was reading several entries on my agenda which has caused me to reflect on a few challenging times I went through several weeks back. I am truly grateful God has been with me every step of the way and that is extremely comforting to me.

Regarding my depression and anxiety, I believe my depression is completely gone. This deserves praise to God! and my anxiety as well, although there's a few instances when I get a little anxious, like when I watch a UFC fight, I begin to feel slight palpitations so I have to stop watching them or when we drive inside those parking garages like at the airport. I think that because it feels like my car is going to hit the cement ceiling it makes me feel anxious, so weird, so I close my eyes until we've parked. Jacob is the one to always drive inside those parking garages at the airport. But these instances are really it. So for the most part my anxiety is gone, the severe anxiety. I have only but God to thank and praise.

I've also come to understand that whenever God wants to change us He makes sure to get our attention and He's ever persistent. And for me, He got my attention by making me go through a bout of depression and anxiety. I realized that I needed to heed His advice and to completely change my lifestyle by putting Him first. I did and my life has been A LOT more meaningful. My marriage became stronger. Jacob and I see life differently and we are enjoying our life together in a much brighter way.
So whenever I begin to live in the flesh I make myself stop and get back to putting God first. It happens to the best of us. That's why prayer and meditation is so important. It is a vital part to having a flourishing relationship with God.

The good thing though is that I AM growing as I go through life's challenging times. I hope I always have a teachable spirit. I hope that I always remember to remain humble. I hope that as I go through life that bitterness never makes its way into my heart.

great verse during challenging times ... 

For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold

of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear;

I will help you.

-Isaiah 41:13

NIV

Well now, on a lighter note. Sydna passed her driving test. She passed it on her second try. Ohmygosh! I almost can't believe how grown up she is. How fast time has passed.

She's already picked Nathan up from school when we weren't able to. She's only allowed to drive Jacob's Camry. I wont let her drive my Tahoe. I told her that the only way she'll drive my car is if I am not able to drive it myself. Maybe when she's 25 I'll let her, lol.
Boy, why do teenagers have to dawdle. She's had her permit for several weeks now but she's been so indecisive about when to go get her drivers license. She could have had her license already. Geez!