A Celebration and A Remembrance

Jacob had a birthday at the end of April.
He's not really a big fan of cake so I decided to get creative and got Cinnabon instead. He also loves the smell of roses but unfortunately the roses he likes are not the pretty English roses but the typical ones you see at your local grocery store ... but because it was his special day and because I love him I bought him a bouquet.

It is unreal how I've been married to Jacob for a little over 20 years. It definitely hasn't felt that long. He gets on my nerves every now and then (as I'm sure I do too) but loves me without end and he's my world too. Aside from the ups and downs we've had I gotta say that the last four years have been the most profound. Definitely some sad seasons but also some really good happy ones. And all through these challenging times he's been the one to calm me and reassure me that things will turn out alright. It is because of him that I am learning to leave my worries and problems in God's hands.
I like how he's become a reader. In our earlier years he never read for pleasure or to feed his soul ... but now he does. Although, it does take him a while to finish reading a book but he's great at memorizing scripture.
He's matured but he's still as funny as the first day we met. And he's definitely gotten a lot more sweeter. He's smart, funny, and loving ... just a great guy all around.

Jacob,

May we continue to take time to have fun together, to explore together, to continue to enjoy each other's company, to grow spiritually together and to never stop being selfless towards each other. I love you.

Also, on this day a year ago was the day we said our goodbye's to Libby. It was such a sad time. This was our first time to mourn the death of a pet and it shocked us how much it hurt. We were so used to her snobby personality, her presence and then she is just gone. Death is just so abrupt/ the end/ period, at least the earthbound version of it but still it seems unfair that we can't sense our lost loved ones on a regular basis or have visions/dreams of them as often as we'd like.

I miss her a lot. I bring her up in our conversations and I sometimes call Sophie Libby by accident every now and then. And of course, whenever I see another tabby it reminds me of my girl.

If only heaven had visiting hours.

Libby, We Miss You!

Our precious furry girl! Miss you still Libby!!

October 26
It's been six months since we had to say "see you later" to our precious Libby girl! We continue to talk about her often. We have each missed her. I have pictures of her throughout the house so I'm constantly saying, "hi girl, miss you girl!" but in my loud annoying voice, lol. Above all I miss her personality. It was so human like. I hope she's always by Reagan's side.

Libby's Resting Place

The same day we lost Libby we dropped her off to get cremated. She was ready to come home five days later. I got her paw prints on paper in case I wanted to get her paw print on stone in the future. I had told Jacob that if those paw prints weren't messy that I wouldn't believe those were my girls paw prints but when I got the paper with the paw prints I knew those were Libby's. You can see how messy the ink got where the fur between her toes pressed against the paper. We also paid for her to have a private cremation {which means it was just her and not multiple cats}. In the bag where her ashes are in I found a white whisker. My girl's white whisker somehow didn't get incinerated.
I explained to Riley what cremation is and that when we die and love Jesus and live a good life that makes God happy that our souls go up to heaven and we're forever alive with Him. Told him the same thing happens when animals die.

What I wanted for Libby was to be buried in our backyard but I don't know what the future holds or even if we'll live in this house forever. I didn't want to have to leave her body/ashes in the dirt if we did happen to move at some point so, for now, Libby will rest inside a cat urn that I've placed on my mantel. I should be receiving a plaque to place right in front that'll have her name and her birth date and the day we lost her on it.

I was looking online for a cat urn and then I found this one. It was a bit pricey so it would have taken me a couple of months to save for but my sister, as nice and thoughtful as she is bought it for me. Thank you Claudia. That meant a lot to us because we didn't want Libby to just be in a bland grey plastic urn.

Still, when I think about her those raw feelings emerge. I miss her everyday but my heart hurts when I think about her last days.

Our Libby

I've had this post ready with {half of} the pictures for a week and I had first titled it, "The latest on Libby", well things changed for the worst in just a matter of days ... and as you all know by now, we said our final goodbyes to our Libby girl yesterday, April 28, 2016.

This picture was taken before she got the upper respiratory infection.

Libby was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid and began taking medication for it on 4/9/16. She weighed 5 lbs. Then on April 13th I noticed she had discharge coming from her right eye and her breathing was  labored. I took her back to the Vet and they said she had an upper respiratory infection. They gave her a shot for it. She had gained a few ounces since her last visit. She weighed 5.4 lbs.

She seemed to be improving. Her right eye cleared out and she looked better. She was still eating and walking around.

On April 26th is when things turned for the worse. I noticed she didn't eat her food. I even gave her tuna but only ingested the liquid. She would just lay down with her eyes open and not move. She would move spots often and at times she would go by the back window and meow and touch the window as in to tell me she wanted out. This is when I knew that she was close to dying. Cats like to be alone when they feel they're gonna die but I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want her to go outside and leave us without me knowing where she went. She was getting even more skinnier.
Sophie even came downstairs and sat next to Sydna while she was holding Libby and just stayed there. She didn't even tried bothering Libby. I'm sure she could sense that Libby wasn't well.

I spent all morning cuddling Libby the day before we took her to the vet for the last time. I cried and talked to her and told her I loved her.

She would occasionally look up at me then would put her head down. She barely had the energy to do that. This broke my heart.

Sydna also held her a lot the last few days.

I wanted to take a picture of her paws. I love how furry they were and I would constantly pull her fur gently. She would sometimes let me and other times she'll try to bite me. Her body was already starting to lose body heat. She felt very cold.

And here she is right in the middle of us the night before she passed. Sweet girl. She hardly moved. We had to carry her everywhere.

The last place she spend time at was in Nathan's room on his bed. We had her covered up and she just laid on her side, staring in the distance.

The following day we took her to the vet. It was so sad taking her out of our house for the last time while she was still breathing.

Riley got to touch her one last time.

And Jacob. Nathan was also with us but he just looked on, it was too much for him, for all of us.

I couldn't stop crying. I told her it was ok to go and just before they took her to the back room to administer the shot to put her down I told her I would see her later and that I loved her. It's such a heart wrenching feeling to know that she would soon take her last breath.

The vet did say that because she had not bounced back from taking her thyroid medication that she had been on for about three weeks, she suspected that Libby may have had cancer from what she could see and because she had not eaten in three days and deteriorated so quickly she said that she already was having liver failure.
I didn't want her to suffer any longer this is why we knew that it was best to put her down. I just couldn't believe that this is how she was going to leave us.

Losing Libby was the hardest experience we've gone through as a family. She was our very first pet death. We love her so much.
She died at 12:00 pm on April 28, 2016 .... Jacob's birthday. I told him it was fitting given that he was the one who picked her out at the shelter when we adopted her.
We all miss her and we all cried hard but it's been the toughest on me. She was my little companion for almost fifteen years. I was around her the most. And to those of us that's lost a beloved pet, only we truly understand how bad it hurts. My heart hurts for my Libby girl. I can't believe she's gone. I find myself crying in waves. I've even left the house just so I can distract myself because when I'm home I find myself missing her too much.

I believe that animals have souls. They have feelings. So I believe that I will see her again in heaven and I find hope in that.

I love you Libby ... I'll see you later.

Libby's Diagnosis

Since we moved to WA three years ago we noticed a change in Libby. She was losing weight and every now and then she would have diarrhea. We thought it was the change of environment as sometimes moving can be quite stressful to an animal. So we left it alone and assumed she would get better.

Then we also began to notice that she wasn't grooming herself as good as she once did. We constantly had to cut off knots around her neck area because brushing wasn't working. We figured, oh she's just old and doesn't feel like grooming herself anymore. At times she would vomit too but since this didn't occur often we dismissed it as anything serious.

And a couple of weeks ago she seemed she was losing even more weight. I found her inside Riley's playroom laying on a toy couch. She never goes into Riley's playroom and when I found her trying to sleep on that tiny thing my heart broke. I really thought she was living her last days given she's 14 years old and all.  So we finally took her to the vet. Her current behavior confirmed to me that something was really wrong.

She was weighed and we couldn't believe how little she weighed. She has never been a heavy cat even in the prime of her life but when the scale showed 5 lbs we were dumbfounded. Not good. The vet came back and told us what she thought could be wrong with her but we wouldn't know for sure until they did a blood test. Of course, when it comes to our pets we sometimes hesitate about spending a significant amount of money on them so Jacob and I discussed it. He even called around to other veterinarian hospitals and ours was the least expensive so we went ahead and had them draw blood.

Here she is wanting to leave the vet as soon as we got there. Funny how animals know they're at the vet.

About two days later the vet called us with the results and she confirmed what she had initially thought Libby had. Libby has an overactive thyroid and the vet said that Libby will need to be put on medication and will have to take it for the rest of her life. The rest of the blood work looked normal so that was a relief.

She has to take two pills, morning and night. The first couple of tries were a bit challenging but then I remembered to pull back on her neck and her mouth easily opens. So now I have no problem at all. The kids would need to learn how to give her the medication for when we're not home to do it ourselves.
Vet says that it will take some time for us to see improvements on Libby. I really hope she begins to gain weight within a couple of weeks. She's so skinny.

And the other day I began to get teary eyes because I realized how much I care for her. Yeah, I love her to pieces but it's not until something like this happens that you realize how much they are a part of your family. We are all concerned and sad about Libby's condition. Thankful that it can be treated and that hopefully she will begin to feel better soon.

I pray for her nightly now and I tell the kids to do the same. We love her! She's our girl!!!

Introducing Sophie

We got Sophie on March 20th, 2016. We had been talking about getting another cat for some time but I wasn't ready ... until just recently. We went to an animal shelter in Bellevue because we had seen a cat I liked online so we wanted to see her in person but we were told that a family had an interest in her and they were set to meet with the foster parent the following day. Bummer! More than likely she was going to get adopted by them so we left and stopped by a Petco. The cats they have there are also from the shelter.
I saw Sophie, poked my finger inside the cage and she immediately came over to me and rubbed her face on my finger and wouldn't stop meowing. I asked to hold her. As soon as I held her she buried herself in my arms and wouldn't move. She seemed very sweet. We all held her and decided that we wanted to adopt her.

Sophie is 2 years old. She got spayed after she had her first litter. She's a heavy girl too. She weighs 9 lbs. and she has a fat neck, lol.

We brought her home and placed her on the floor then we brought Libby over so they could become familiar. They both hissed at each other which is normal. Libby even gave out that deep low growl, lol.

I read that there needs to be as many litter boxes as there are cats so I had to make a trip to the store to buy another litter box, more litter, cat toys and food for Sophie. Sophie likes to hang out upstairs most of the time while Libby spends most of the day downstairs but whenever Libby wants to go use the potty or eat Sophie chases her back down. She's such a bully. So I have to pick Libby up and put her in the laundry where all of her stuff is at.

Sophie meows constantly. Her meows are more like a crying meow than anything else. She hates being upstairs alone but the dork wont go downstairs. When we first brought her home she was afraid of the tv {while it was on of course}. She would look at the tv and if it was on she would go back upstairs. Same thing would happen if I watched tv in my bedroom, she would walk out of my bedroom and lay out in the hallway. But now she's not afraid of the tv being on anymore. She even watches tv along with me.

Whenever she walks over to any one of us she'll plop herself down and twist her body and turn in circles. Then she'll walk on you and just lay there even if she's laying awkwardly. And when she first sees you she'll nod {like saying, what's up} then meow.

One thing that surprised us is that she sheds a lot. I had the impression that short haired cats didn't shed as much as long haired cats. Boy, was I wrong. It seems like she sheds more than Libby.

She's pretty comfortable around us now. She'll jump on my bed in the middle of the night and makes herself comfortable between Jacob and myself. At first I thought it was cute but then I began to notice how much she sheds and I stopped her from laying directly on my sheets and pillows. I'm allergic to cats and I really don't need cat hair where I sleep. So now she sleeps by my feet which I don't mind. Look at Riley, lol. Seems like he's about to fall off the bed.

Sydna felt guilty about loving another cat while Libby's around so she makes sure that Libby doesn't feel left out. We all make sure that Libby is well loved and we carry her around the house too. We came to appreciate how much we truly love her and her personality even though she can be mean at times. We are just so used to her that we love her including her attitude. She definitely gets babied even more now than she did before.

This was the first time they were in the same room together without hissing. Eleven days after Sophie arrived. We had to be the moderators and make sure that Sophie wasn't going to pounce on her. Libby will defend herself but I'm sure she rather not get physical. Sophie's young so she could care less, lol.

She follows me wherever I go as long as I stay upstairs.

And she has no sense of what personal space is. She's even tried to lay right across my chest like almost right on my neck. I had to push her down. She's crazy!

Riley loves her. He has fun playing with her since she's such a playful cat and is very sweet. She hasn't gotten mad at any of us ... yet and doesn't meow unless she wants to get close to you. Unlike Libby, she'll meow whenever we pick her up as if she's upset because we're bothering her, lol.

Libby and Sophie are complete opposites. Libby loves her solitude ... Sophie loves human interaction. Sophie's not afraid of the vacuum. Libby sprints as soon as she sees me with it. Sophie will lay any which way on you or right next to you ... Libby will sit at arms length {usually}. Sophie's a heavy girl ... Libby is light as a feather. But, Libby has my heart. I don't believe any other cat will ever take her place.

Libby

After re-positioning the couch cushions Libby did not have the courtesy to move so I had no choice but to place the cushion over her and she stayed. What a dork. I don't know why she thinks that I'm going to work around her and not move her if she's in the way. Nope.

And here she is laying on my papers while I was journaling. She has been spending a lot of time sitting next to me these last couple of weeks ... pure love for me I guess.

Although she can be quite bothersome, especially when she stands right by my feet in the kitchen and I about trip every three seconds, I still love her. I don't know why cats have to be so touchy but that doesn't stop me from gently pulling the fur from under her paws or smell her paws {I know, weird right?} or hold her like a baby. And I can't help but to give her a big old hug when she's laying down comfortably. She just looks so cute but cute does not equal nice and boy, does she ever let me know how she's feeling. She will swipe at my hand or try to bite my hand. That's when I tell her, "Libby, you better not ever bite me!!!" She knows when I get upset with her cause she gives me that "oh crap" look and runs away. Lol!! But I know she loves me. I know that my voice, when I'm talking to her in a loving way is calming to her. She trusts me. She just doesn't like to be messed with and we both know it. We just like to annoy each other in our own ways.
I like that we have our pets we can confide in or cuddle with. May sound weird but it can be quite a stress reliever. They've seen us at our most vulnerable and yet they still love us unconditionally without judgement. A headbutt from her is all it takes sometimes to help me get my day going.

Riley's Vet Service

Riley playing vet with Libby. Here she is on one of those rare occasions where she's too lazy to run away, she decides to yield to Riley's vet check-up instead.
Blood pressure - good.

Temperature - good.

The only thing wrong with her per Riley's diagnosis was a scratch on her ear which he placed a band-aid on very gently.

He couldn't stop laughing. She just laid there for like three minutes. She finally got up and ran upstairs clearly having had enough of all this nonsense and Riley's loud laugh.

Aw, these pictures will sure be treasures for the future. Looking back at how small and cute Riley was and how he liked to mess with poor Libby.
Thankful for pictures, memories and this space of mine.

Riley's New Pet Fish

During an errand run I thought it would be fun to stop at a pet store to look at animals. I knew Riley would enjoy it. Too bad they don't have animals one can actually pet. We like to watch dogs being groomed. We first saw ferrets. They're cute but I hear they like to bite on stuff and I can just imagine how fast they run. I would hate to have to chase one. We then watched mice, run around in the spinner. That made me smile ... like, where do they think they're going, lol. We saw birds then we walked over to the fish and turtles. This is the area where Riley spent most of his time in. I especially liked the fish he was looking at, those pink, lavender and yellow fish. It would be so cool to have a large fish tank with these colorful fishies but I would hate having to clean it. That's a tedious job that I would rather not have to do.

I figured that since Riley likes to look at fish that it would be a good idea to get him a betta fish. Those are quite easy to care for and the cost to purchase one and its home doesn't cost much so I got one. He was so excited.

I made sure not to neglect my girl so I picked her up some soft treats, chicken flavor, that's her favorite. When Jacob and Sydna got home and read what the treat bag said they gave me such a hard time, lol. I told them that since she's a senior we need to get her cat food and treats that contain vitamins that help her old bones to continue to function properly. She likes her treats.

When we got home I prepared new water for the fish. Riley was so eager to feed it. After a couple of hours the water was ready for the fish to be transferred over to. Oh, I wish I could have left it on this counter but I knew that Libby would definitely get it. I would have liked to see this fishie swimming around while I wash dishes.

So, we spent several minutes deciding on a name for fishie. After several fail names I finally came up with the name Fin. Riley immediately liked it, he said, "Yeah, let's name her Fin!" oh, and Fin is female. I decided to get a female betta because females are able to be around other fish unlike the male bettas. They need to be by themselves because they're aggressive.

After giving Riley the basic rules on how to care for and treat his new pet fish all he did for the first hour was come back to it about every five minutes to talk to it.
Sadly, I had to place Fin up on the living room bookshelf. I don't believe Libby could reach that high now at her old age. Plus, betta fish need to be out of direct sunlight.
I hope I can keep it alive longer than my plants. Hope this fishie thrives in our home, lol.

Family Current Events

During another visit to the mall Riley and I indulged in some ice cream. I usually don't crave ice cream but I had been craving mint chocolate ice cream for a while. What's funny was that Riley also wanted some mint chocolate when he usually always gets either vanilla or chocolate.
He was so into it, hardly talking, lol. When he finished it he said, "Mmm, it was so good!" I also, always text Jacob pictures of us often. I texted him a similar picture and Jacob began babying him. He's still such a push-over and is all mush when it comes to this little guy.

I really love having this space where I can document certain things that happened in our lives. I know that my kids will come back to this blog and get a kick about the silly things they did when they were little/young.
A couple of weeks ago I began smelling plastic burning. It was very faint the first time I smelled it. I thought it was a string of lights hanging near the kitchen since I kept them plugged in 24/7. Then as the day went on I could smell it more. It wasn't until the late evening after getting home from picking up Sydna from work that the smell of plastic was really strong. We began to follow our noses but we couldn't see anything of concern. Then, Sydna looked in Riley's playroom and she could see smoke coming from the chandelier. Jacob turned off the lights and reached in one of the glass shades and found a melted foam block. Oh my gosh! So relieved Sydna discovered where the smell was coming from. Things could have been a lot worse.
I remember Riley playing in his playroom the night before, throwing up blocks ... having fun making a mess but it never crossed my mind that one could end up inside one of the light glass shades. Phew!

Riley and I enjoy crafting so we continued with Christmas craft making almost every week in December. Aside from the bonding time we get when crafting it also helps to forget your worries or other pending chores for a while and makes time go by a bit faster and that's wonderful.

I'm not really into make-up. I'm a simple girl that likes the natural look overall. I only wear eyeliner and lipstick and every now and then apply some mascara. I've had a red lipstick for a while so several weeks ago I decided to change my look a little. Jacob likes how red lipstick looks on me. I like it but I don't think I would want to use red lipstick year round. I prefer the mocha tones better, the softer chocolate hues. Anyway, apparently my sister also likes the way red lipstick looks on me. I received a package in the mail with a red lipstick inside. At first I thought it was lipgloss. I applied some on and it shocked me a little because this lipstick went on super deep red and at first it went on wet but it quickly dried up and had a nice matte red look to it. Wow! But I have to be careful when I apply this lipstick because once it goes on and dries it's almost impossible to remove/correct if you accidentally apply it uneven.
See, my sister is super sweet. I went to the Lime Crime website to check out more shades and saw how much these cost. I about fainted to see that these lipsticks cost $20. I would never buy a lipstick worth that much. When it comes to make-up I'm a tight wad.  I really liked the inside of the box though. It's pretty.

I sometimes wonder if there's anyone out there that likes to change their routes when it comes to driving. I become bored of always doing something the same way over and over and that also goes with the roads I take on a regular basis. The route I take to Sydna's work had started to bore me so I changed my route. I took the steep hill down which passes through crop fields. Just looking at this scene helped brighten my mood. The cloudy blue/gray sky and the brown of the naked trees was really a sight. I think it looks very pretty.

For the past month Riley's pretend play has really become apparent. He does it more often. It's really cute to see. Although I have to say that pretend play is my least favorite kind of play. My sister had mailed him a couple of gauze packages so he could use on his stuffed animals. I remember just staring at him and watch him gauze up arms and legs.

He was really taking the role of Doctor very seriously. That sparked an idea on what to get him for Christmas. Whenever we would call him Doctor Riley he would smile and give us a look of pride. I think he liked the way that sounded.

And whenever I can I like to take pictures with this old lady. I know she doesn't like to take pictures. She always turns away when I'm about to take one so I found a way to keep her from looking away ... scratching under her chin. She loves that! and she kept her gaze on my phone, lol.

Every time I show Jacob a picture of Libby he rolls his eyes and says not to waste his time. Lol! He's so mean!!

Easygoing

{week of november 23}

My old lady ... she's so temperamental. I can totally identify myself as a cat ... cause that is me sometimes too. She's also not a patient cat. Whenever I'm caressing her head after about a minute she'll swipe at my hand for me to stop. It seems that when I ignore her she makes her way to me and lays down beside me but when I call her she usually ignores me.

Riley's cute little drawings. He drew baseball caps on these two figures. So cute! I love that he drew smiles on them and no body, lol.

This week was sunny but very cold. I love coming back home where it's warm and cozy. I usually have Christmas music playing. I've noticed that Riley's in better spirits when music is on.

Pasta. I love pasta! I love when Jacob makes his chicken and shrimp alfredo. I now add broccoli and tomato chucks in it and lots of crushed red pepper flakes. So so good!

This guy likes using the nutcracker but doesn't eat the nut. So, I had to tell him to stop cracking them.

A few weeks ago he asked me if I could buy him his very own mini Christmas tree so I said yes. We went to Target and got him one along with a few mini ornaments for it. As soon as we got home he began to decorate it.

Looks so cute. I told him that we would look for more mini ornaments to add to it. I saw him place his own toys underneath the tree. How cute is that?!

The days seem to be flying by ... the last three months of the year usually do, at least to me. I'm trying to enjoy each day by not rushing to do too many things at once. These pictures above were from a few days before Thanksgiving. We had everything for our Thanksgiving meal but the rolls. I didn't stress. I was certain that Jacob would find some on Thanksgiving day.
When I remind myself that it's no use to stress over things, life sure is lived more fully and happier. It sure took me years to realize this but thankful my thinking has matured ... a lot!